Playing Dumb

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

I am not sure what the wisest decision of 2011 was.  It would be easy to say that it was quitting my job and moving, but the wisdom of that remains yet to be seen, in a long term sense, so I don’t think it could be considered as something wise.  Wisdom to me is a type of knowledge that comes after years of experience and reflection.  You can’t get wisdom easily.  It helps answer questions with answers that are not obvious.

The thing I have learned and used this year is the art of “playing dumb.”  Many women confess to the benefits of playing dumb.  Some women use it to get ahead.  Others use it to get others to relax and open up. It can be used to avoid embarrassing or intimidating others. It can get you out of responsibility.   It sometimes even helps get out of traffic violations.

The main way that I have used this art this past year is to get people to relax and open up, while I gather information.  In my new job, I have had to build trust with colleagues and get their buy in. I have had to learn a lot of new people and personalities and absorb a lot of new information quickly.   I had to make changes while still making others feel involved and valued.

In some of my personal relationships, I use it to gather information so that I can use better judgement, or understand a situation better.  I am an observer.

Although I have been using this art, I am fully aware of how annoying it can be.  When someone looks at you and say “I have no idea what you are talking about,” when you damn well know that they do, it is infuriating.  Or of a person gains your trust, and then uses information against you, it’s not OK.  And if a person uses it to shirk responsibility, it is impossible to respect.

That is why I refer to playing dumb as an art.  It needs to be done thoughtfully and with good intentions.  

Playing dumb isn’t always easy, and it certainly isn’t always the wisest thing to do. - it gives the appearance of weakness or stupidity.  The wisdom I feel I have gained in 2011 is how and when to use it somewhat successfully.